How I Ended Up Here. (The whole story)

The road to this place has been long and somewhat unclear until recently. If you've checked out my "About" page, you already know a bit about how I ended up in this space, but it's been a long paddle through some tough rapids.

Just before I turned thirty I married one of my best friends. We'd been friends for a couple of years, prior to the ending of my previous relationship - which had been seven years of emotional and verbal abuse. My husband was like a dream come true, and anyone who knew him took every opportunity to remind me how lucky I was to have him. They weren't wrong. He was incredible. The kind of human who is able to weigh to two opposing opinions without judgement; the kind of human who finds joy in making others happy; the kind of human you can count on regardless of the situation. He was the kind of man that other men emulated, and that woman wanted their partners to be more like.

I'm using past tense when talking about him, because my world was forever changed when he passed in November 2022 after courageously living with metastatic melanoma for eighteen months. Our life was incredible even after his diagnosis. We became the "yes" family. If there was something we had wanted to do, we did it during that time. We doubled down on family time, fun, and love. And I think if he were here he'd agree that we have no regrets.

Years ago Lorne begged me to write. He encouraged me to express myself, to tell others what I'd learned, to journal, to blog. I never really did. Not seriously anyway. I sometimes laugh and think about what he's probably saying now that I'm finally trying to compose my thoughts in this space. A loving "I told you so" sometimes creeps into the quiet when I am still and thinking about him.

He always thought I had important things to say. Having survived an emotionally abusive relationship for years, our battle with infertility, our healing journey after his Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis, my unacknowledged postpartum depression and subsequent anxiety disorder - there's never been a shortage of content. But it wasn't until I was faced with the task of leading my children through the darkness of losing their dad, that the dots finally started to get connected. Now I finally feel like I've found my people and my purpose. After having to navigate the education system with my own grieving children, and working alongside parents of neurodivergent and/or traumatized students as they do the same, I feel like I have something to bring to the proverbial table.

I frequently talk with fellow widows about the unique challenges of raising grieving children and the new minefield of navigating the school system for our kids. There's a general understanding that if you have neurodivergent children, you will need to develop a closer relationship with your child's educators than parents of neurotypical children. But grieving and traumatized children seem to live in this grey area of school support. There's not really a system-approved label to slap on them, so no one really knows what to do to support them.

This grey area is where I live now. And I'm letting it unfold for you in real time. I want to help you navigate the grey, because you don't have to do it alone.